Assignment 19 - Kyle Hosey

I think that one of the strange ironies in parental advice is what we tell our children about how much to care about other people's opinions. Most parents like to teach their children that they have a voice, and that it deserves to be heard, even over objections. We are taught to stand up for ourselves and what we believe in, and to not put too much stock into what peers think of us. At the same time, we are pressed upon the importance of building friendships and "making a good first impression". Both of those concepts depend entirely upon what others think of us! In a way, all relationships are characterized by other's opinions. This duality makes it incredibly difficult for many to strike a healthy balance between individualism and social acceptance. Ideally, one does not have to alter the former to achieve the latter; for a long time I felt as though that was not an option for me. I preferred to exist on the fringe of any given social group, as an observer; it's just safer. No individual expression, no social rejection. Entering high school, I had no intention to change that mindset. I don't remember exactly when or in what context, but one day my father said to me "Kyle, you need to give a little less of a damn." I slowly realized he was right, if not in possession of his normal eloquence. I had convinced myself that I was content on the outside, just kind of existing. I'm pretty sure I would have won "Most Forgettable Classmate" in elementary school. I might still win that "award" now, but I have made a concentrated effort to be more involved in social life and to have confidence that altering my personality is simply unnecessary.