Assignment 20- Tom Polites

I have an unparalleled talent. It's not playing a musical instrument or cooking a certain food. It is how to go to the gym while letting everyone know that you work out. As anyone who comes into contact with me can tell, I go to the YMCA occasionally to get gains. But this is only half of my world class talent. What's the point of going to the gym if nobody knows you do? Loudly announcing to everyone that you can pump some serious iron will evoke the admiration of your peers. Sounds easy right? Trust me its not. Only years of practice have permitted me to develop into the master I am today. It's a complicated process, so try to keep up.

First, actually get a gym membership. You can't boast about your toned triceps if you don't have a place to tone them. Next, you need to reinvent your wardrobe. Multiple tank tops or "bro tanks" are a must. Also, purchase a head band. They just make you look more athletic than you really are. Now you're ready to hit the weights. The bench press is always a go to, as well as regular and forearm curls to really get those veins popping. After this grueling workout, the fun really begins. Acquire a ridiculous amount of protein powder and shakes. Ideally, they should fill up an entire closet. Drink and eat them wherever you go. Do this even if you haven't just worked out so people will assume you did and respect you more. And now the finishing touch. Let everyone on planet earth know that you go the gym. Ask your friends what they are doing after school as this will force them to ask you the same thing so you can proudly respond that you are going to lift. "Accidentally" drop your gym membership card on the floor so people can see proof of your dedication to getting ripped. If you follow all of these steps correctly, you may one day reach my level of skill in going to the gym (but I doubt it).